XV Jokes :D

Here’s a little something to cheer up the Monday blues!

Four surgeons
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered.” The second surgeon says, “Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” Third surgeon says, “Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded.” The fourth one says, “I prefer Scottish rugby players. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.”

Referee
A rugby referee died and went to heaven. Stopped by St Peter at the gates he was told that only brave people who had performed heroic deeds and had the courage of their convictions could enter. If the ref could describe a situation in his life where he had shown these characteristics, he would be allowed in.

“Well,” said the ref, “I was reffing a game between Northern Transvaal and Natal at Loftus Versveld. Northerns were 2 points ahead, 1 minute to go. The Natal wing made a break, passed inside to his lock. The lock was driven on by his forwards, passed out to the flanker who ducked blind and went over in the corner. However, the flanker dropped the ball before he could ground it, and as Natal were clearly the better side all game, I ruled that he had dropped the ball down, not forward, and awarded the try.”

“OK, that was fairly brave of you, but I will have to check it in the book.” says Peter, and disappears to look it up. When he comes back he says “Sorry, there is no record of this. Can you help me to trace it? When did all this happen?”

The ref looked at his watch and replied “45 seconds ago.”

The Fan
Van der Merwe was watching a rugby test against the British Lions at Loftus Versfeld stadium in Pretoria. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat – next to Van der Merwe.

“Who does that seat belong to?” asked his neighbour.

“It’s for my wife.”

“But why isn’t she here?”

“She died.”

“So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?”

“They’ve all gone to the funeral.”

Lomu
The All Blacks were playing England and after the half time whistle blew They found themselves up by 50 points to nil with Jonah Lomu scoring 8 tries on his own. The rest of the team decided to go down to the pub instead of playing the second half and told Jonah that he was on his own.

“No problems”, Jonah told the captain, “I’ll come down after the game and report back.”

Well, after the game Jonah found the rest of the team at the pub. “What was the final score Jonah?” asked one of the players. “Sorry guys, but it ended up 95 points to 3.”

“What!!!!!?”, exclaimed the captain. “How did you let them get 3 points????” To which Jonah replied, “I got sent off with 20 minutes to go”.

Aussies
A rugby player from Cardiff is having a quiet drink in a Sydney Bar. He leans over to the big guy next to him and says, “Do you wanna hear an Aussie joke?”. The big guy replies, “Well mate, before you tell that joke you should know something: I’m six feet tall, 105kgs and I’m a Wallaby forward. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 115kgs and he’s an ex-Wallaby. Next to him is a bloke who’s 6’5″ weighs 120kgs and he’s a current Wallaby second-rower. Now, do you still want to tell that Aussie joke?”.

The Welshman says, “Nah….. not if I’m going to have to explain it three times”.

Smack
Travelling in a train were a Wallaby, an All Black, a spectacular looking blonde and an older lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel the Wallaby had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

(1) The blonde thought – “That horrible Wallaby wanted to touch me and by mistake he must have put his hand on the lady, who in turn must have slapped his face.”

(2) The older lady thought – “This dirty Wallaby laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him.”

(3) The Wallaby thought – “That bloody All Black put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.”

(4) The All Black thought – “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Wallaby again.”

Aussies
Q. Why do people tend to hate Australian Rugby players on sight?

A. Because it saves time!

Snow White
Snow White returned to the cottage to find it had burned down. Distraught, she searches for the dwarfs in the forest and hears a lone voice chanting, “Wales for the World Cup, Wales for the World Cup, Wales for the World Cup.” On hearing this, Snow White gave a little sigh of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe

http://www.sawstonrugby.org/jokes.html

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Blue Bulls u/21 and u/19 Currie cup nail theme

Now that super rugby is almost over, its almost time for my favourite tournament! Currie Cup :D!!!! While the bigs haven’t started with their campaigns the smaller age groups have! Now to the nails! I noticed that the Blue bulls u/21 and u/19′s wore a lighter shade of blue (baby blue) and I had a nail polish colour similar to that, so I thought and thought and thought and then I did this!
Here are a few simple steps to support the Baby Bulls this Currie cup season!
You need:
•A Light shade of Blue Nail Polish
•White Nail Polish
•Tooth pick or an old hair clip
•A clear nail polish!
•French Manicure Guides
Step1: paint four nails with the blue nail polish and leave one random nail out (preferable the index or the pinkie nails other sister but its entirely up to you!)
Step2: Paint the random left out nail with the white nail polish and leave to dry for 2-5 minutes!
*Make sure the nails are completely dry before doing the next step*
Step3:According to my calculations you have 4 nails to work with now! Chose 2 nails that are painted blue,if using an old hair clip pull the clips two sides apart to use just one end! Now you might ask why a hair clip and I will answer, cause the clip has a round end which will be perfect! Then dip one end of the toothpick/Hairclip into the white nail polish and make dots on top of the selected 2 fingers and wait to dry
Step4: if Maths serves me right there are 2 blue painted nails left. If this is correct take a french manicure guide and carefully place along the edge of your growing nails.
Step5: Paint the white polish over the guide to the end of the nail but making sure that you do not touch the other side (biggest side) of the nail. When dry remove the the nail guides and tada you have a funky loftus manicure!
Step6: when done you will notice (hopefully) that the nail with the white nail polish is not touched and that’s how its going to stay! Then paint all the nails with a top coat of Clear nail polish!
*The clear nail polish is a great touch cause it just makes everything come to light and helps to lock the decor and gives it that classy shine*
Warning: This nail art is not for the faint hearted!

This post does not reject neither accepts the assumptions that I am a Blue Bulls supporter or that I have major crushes on specific coastal forwards of the team!:P

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Are the french frying us?

Not to long ago I had a rugga debate about the french!I maybe be jumping the gun here but I follow the premise that the french if not now will be threat to south african big or small a threat is a threat! And obviously I don’t just say that because the french are good lovers and that the language is incredibly sexy I say that because I believe it and this is why!
Bakkies Botha
Rory Kockott
Heini Adams
Joe van Niekerk
Ross Skeate
Federick Michalak
Tyrone Holmes
Jono Vermaak
Dewald Potgieter
Roland Bernard
Naude Beukes
Albertus Buckle
Ruaan Du Preez
Shuan Sowerby
Rudi Coetzee
Gavin Hume
Francois van de Merwe
Conrad Barnard
Greg Goosen
Wikus Blaauw
Eugene van Stadens
Bryan Habbana
Morne Steyn
Jp Pieterson
Chiliboy
Zane kirshner

Now there a lot of opinions about this topic and in fact too many which I all value but I thought the list of names could somehow show you how I think and If it doesn’t drop me “you got it wrong gal!” On twitter,facebook or Ovi! :D

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REBLOG:”The Sharksworld Awards: Super Rugby 2013″

t’s been a tough Super Rugby season, full of upheavals and a fair share of disappointment. Let’s not forget, though, that a team of men in black and white have been playing their hearts out, for their fans and their jersey, pretty much non-stop ever since early February. We may not have won the trophy – or even made the knock-outs this year – but let’s take a few moments to reflect on the highs from this year’s campaign.

Without further ado, I present the Sharksworld Awards for the 2013 Super Rugby season!
Best Attacking Player: We start with an award, frankly, that’s been very hard to give out this year. Such has been the disruption in the SHarks team that few have really stood up and delivered consistently on attack. Tries have been few and far between and mostly scored via the drive, rather than individual attacking brilliance. We’ve decided to give the award to Riaan Viljoen this year, for always displaying attacking intent. He was also the joint-highest try scorer, with 4.

Best Defensive Player: In contrast, this one is pretty easy to award and goes to the man who, over the course of the competition, has done the most work on defence. For the second year running, this award goes to the man of steel, Marcell Coetzee.

Best Debutant: This one is awarded to a young player who first played Super Rugby this year and was judged to show the most promise. We’ve decided to bend our own rules here and give it to a player who actually already had one appearance as a sub from last year. The reason behind that decision was that we didn’t feel any of this year’s “true” debutants enjoyed enough of a run to really warrant the award. This year, our winner is Tera Mtembu.

Best Newcomer: Also known as the “best buy” award, this goes to the player coming into the Sharks squad for the first time this year who has made the biggest impact. We didn’t have any “buys”, as such this year, only “loans” and while Derick Minnie scored some great tries in his three appearances, we’re going to give this to a man who delivered huge value to our line-out play all campaign long. Take a bow, Franco van der Merwe.

Most Improved Player: This one goes to the player who has made the biggest gains in terms of personal form and consistency over the course of the campaign. Our mate Wiehahn Herbst is a very close runner-up in this category, but we feel that the most deserving recipient is none other than Kyle Cooper.

Best Team Player: To the man who selflessly places the needs of the team above his own. We’ve decided this year, Jannie du Plessis should be the recipient of this award, for going above and beyond the call of duty.

Best Comeback: While we’ve debated this one a lot – and looked specifically at the way Marcell Coetzee’s form has picked up immeasurably in the last few weeks – we felt that given where he started the season – and where he ended it – this one probably belongs to Jean Deysel this year.

Most Consistent Player: This one goes to the player who can always be called on to deliver at his best, reliably and consistently week after week. Again, there was furious debate amongst the team, with the likes of Coetzee, Louis Ludik, van der Merwe and a host of others putting forward strong cases. We’ve looked back at our own ratings over the course of the campaign, though, and opted to give this one to Wiehahn Herbst for consistently delivering classy performances from an unfashionable position.

Most Valuable Player: This one goes to the player who has made the most important and telling contributions at the most important times, to provide match and campaign-turning moments. Now we all know that it hasn’t been the best of seasons for the team as a whole, results-wise and some might argue this choice given a few missed kicks in recent weeks, but I’m sure most would agree that without our winner, Patrick Lambie, the Sharks would have lost far more matches than they did this year.

Best Forward: Over the campaign, the man who has made the biggest overall contribution to the Sharks’ play up-front. Take a bow, Pieter-Steph du Toit.

Best Back: The backline player who has delivered the best combination of attacking and defensive play, with a few moments of real magic thrown in. For 2013, ours is none other than Louis Ludik.

Best Player: The player whose contribution over the course of the season has been the greatest, balancing out attack, defence, work-rate, commitment, attitude and consistency. This one again goes to Pieter-Steph du Toit.

Best Try: This one again has a number of strong contenders. We loved Fred Zeilinga’s effort against the Kings last week, simply because it gives us so much hope for the future. Pat Lambie’s score against the Bulls the week before was also great. Tera Mtembu’s maiden score against the Chiefs was also really special. All-in-all, though, for that sheer feel good “Sharks rugby” feeling, we’re giving this one to Ryan Kankowski, for being the scorer of a typical team try against the Rebels.
AWESOME
http://www.sharksworld.co.za/2013/07/17/the-sharksworld-awards-super-rugby-2013/

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The ashes

The Ashes at first I thought was an awesome Quentn Tarintino movie but its actually an element of history!
I’ve always said that the world doesn’t realise how much journalism (not media) has an effect on sports and this is how I will prove it!
The ashes started in 1882 as a match between rivalries England and Australia. When England lost to Australia a journalist from the “the Sporting times” wrote that the body of english cricket will be cremated and its ashes to return to Australia. The next tour against the two was dubbed by media as England’s quest to get back its ashes!
During that tour a small terracotta urn was presented to England captain Ivo Bligh by a group of Melbourne women. The contents of the urn are reputed to be the ashes of an item of cricket equipment,no need to worry because the trophy is not the urn!
The Test is a series is alternately played in England(The Oval) and Australia(The Gabba in Brisbane). Cricket being a summer sport, and the venues being in opposite hemispheres, the break between series alternates between 18 and 30 months. The series comprises five Test matches, two innings per match, under the regular rules for Test match cricket. If a series is drawn then the country already holding the Ashes retains them. So there it is, how a journalists brave words created an epic sporting event!
Nation
The series results
Series

Won

Lost

Drawn

Australia

66

31

30

5

England

66

30

31

5

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

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Super duper wuper Rugby Semi Finals

All good things come to an end and so has super rugby! And this how it comes to an semi final end.
Vodacom Super Rugby semi-final (Match C)

Saturday, 27 July, 2013

Vodacom Bulls vs Crusaders/ Reds/ Brumbies/ Cheetahs

Loftus Versfeld, Pretoria

Kick-off will be at 5:05pm CAT (SA, GMT+2) live on SSHD and SS1

Vodacom Super Rugby semi-final (Match D)

Saturday, 27 July, 2013

Chiefs v Crusaders/Reds/ Brumbies/Cheetahs

Waikato Stadium, Waikato

Kick-off will be at 9:35am CAT (SA, GMT+2) live on SSHD and SS1

*Final will be hosted by the highest ranked winner of the semifinals.

Thank you super sport for the info! :D

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2013/05/26

All my life as I watched American Idols or any talent search competition I would hear many contestants say “I can’t see myself doing anything else” and I couldn’t understand why one would say that! How much do you have to love something to want to do nothing else but it, for the rest of your life! “Who does that?” Then I found out that “I want to do nothing else in my life but sport!”…I have now become that girl! Sport is my comfort,anchor and many times my boyfriend (pls don’t ask me to explain that). Its something that has become a part of me! Sport is essential, its the red bloods cells that I often lack! I can’t do it much justice by explaining it rweally, you need to hold my heart and see my smile as I try to explain it! You rweally don’t need to understand all sports rules to love it or even watch it, all you need to do is see a players face after scoring a goal! That expression explains everything! It explains why he or she would constantly put their body on the line( in rugby terms literally on the “line”) for a few numbers on a score board, why they would put more hours in the gym than the actual time required to play the game. The answer is as simple as falling in love! Its when you find something so meaningful to you that you will fight for it! Its the love the avatar people have for their tree! I would advice you to learn the rules or laws cause you don’t want to be that person. Since joining my university’s student newspaper I have experienced highs and lows and many lonely walks to the sports campus and many of the times for nothing, But I would do it all over again because I’m learning to be the best I can and should be! I will admit sitting every tuesday at Oom gerts around talented Perdeby journalists and people who are actually studying to be journalist is extremely intimidating and nerve wrecking and I don’t mean my first afrikaans oral intimidating I mean the principal decides to-sit-next-to-you nerve wreck! I enjoy it though! I’m nowhere near the level I need to be but I know I can and should be! My first semester of varsity is almost over and so much has happened (iCarly’s ending :( ) but I constantly find comfort in sport! I lost a few fwends but the Sharks also lost their good players to injuries, a few boys have not supported and even questioned my sport obsession (one even went as far as to say that rugby is racial segregation! Read “R for rugby not racism”. Post to get my thoughts on that) but no one supported the Kings too. (incl myself, I’m so sowi Watson!) Lost a loved one but so did Elton Janjties and he’s back in the game. My anemia took a horrible turn for the worst but so did Jaco Taute and Johan Goosen’s ligaments or bones! I gained a few kilograms but just like Frans Steyn our bodies will be back just in time for the Currie Cup or maybe for the end of year tour! (Let’s be realistic.) Not all bad though, along the way I met some fabulous fwends such as my BFF The Dan Lombard who for some odd reason doesn’t like Pat Lambie or put Red Velvet Cupcakes on a scale higher than food! Either way we all have our flaws but he doesn’t have a lot he’s the brother I have! (See how I changed that common phrase. Smart move 1). Meet my high school fwends Adeline and Cazlynne and formed a fwendship that we thought no non-sport loving idiot would break! My sister and I are ironically communicating better at further distances just like Demetri is with the Kings and my niece is taking the duties of the swedish-house-mafia-fist-pumping pro, reigns of the house as excellently as Elgar Watts with Goosen! Its been a wild ride but I have my team,pitch and coach (and a few cupcakes at half time) to help us win that gold dipped trophy called first year graduate!

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